Listening to a song with some lyrics i wrote, star sight.

go to 6th (F minor) for a following verse, as it’s a 3rd away from going back to A so you can walk it back to the original key easily. Could consider going to E minor. In general, it sounds like I should consider developing the piece more.

“i’ll” shows up three times, it’s not an attractive word to sing. Try to not use it too much. Could remove the second use of them.

Look for words that have a good mix of fricatives (like k’s or cracks) and vowels.

Teacher likes this band called Bent Knee, which has good “biting” vocals:

• In God We Trust https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYarRjuREYQ
• Land Animal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocn0gkJ2sMY

Consider using the inner part of words to rhyme, like “gut” and “crutch”.