Reviewing the new lyrics for lonely-love:
looking for the message you sent
or pictures I thought i took
so i can remember how it went
in my lonely love
x-ray, my mind
your gaze, those eyes
heart pierced, how kind
i cried, many timesi don't know how you say we will never change
i don't know how you say things will never change
thinking things i'd like to say back
when you would give me that look
with me, you somehow just had a knack
in my lonely love
Could try doubling the length of the verse, stripping down the pre-chorus, and building it back up to the chorus:
i don't know how you say we will never change
i don't know how you say things will never change
thinking things i'd like to say back
when you would give me that look
with me, you somehow just had a knack
in my lonely love(4-bar verse with different lyrics)
x-ray, my mind
your gaze, those eyes
heart pierced, how kind
i cried, many timesi don't know how you say we will never change
i don't know how you say things will never change
As a rule of thumb, the second verse should not use words in common with the first verse.
Example structure:
- verse 1
- chorus
- verse 2 (twice the length)
- pre-chorus (half the length of verse 2)
- chorus 2 (inject something new, bigger and more expansive)
- bridge
- verse 1
- prechorus (starts differently)
- chorus 3 (remove the ensemble)