The Only Gift

Where am I?

“Jessica.”

His voice echoed through the sterile room, ringing off every smooth wall and perfect corner, off the shimmering window and fading away with a sigh. The clamor of doctors and nurses rushing by sounded faintly through the door.

After a pause, he said “I have something for you.” He presented a fabulous velvet red present with a white ribbon around it. Stars and wands danced across all over the gift, something picked out especially for me. For me. It looked small, yet important. It shined with absolute importance. He opened the case, looked at it. I strained to see what was inside, but all I could see was his face. He was smiling. Yet, there was something wrong. Nothing seemed quite right.

“Do you remember when you threw me a surprise birthday party?” He laughed weakly. “I was so surprised. The cake you made actually tasted good…for once.” He was trying hard to cover up his voice, I know. His face was never good at keeping in emotions. Now it looked as if his face would burst out with sadness, a cold water that would wake up even the mellowest person.

“Jess…look at me, I’m a mess. And I’m sitting here, talking to you as if…” His voice broke. “as if…” His hands, clutching the closed present tightly, were coming to his face now. He started sobbing, as if he held it in for weeks. I tried to sit up in the bed, reach a hand across, stand up, anything, to tell him I was okay, I love you too. My head never left the pillow. His head sunk. My lips wouldn’t move. His mouth trembled. My expression didn’t change. His face streamed with tears. I was stone still, watching him break down in front of me.

“I’m sorry Jessica… I’m sorry…” He looked at the present again. “I’m sorry I didn’t come soon enough.” My eyes looked out cold, as if I was looking past him. He put the present in my hands, his eyes void of any glimmer of happiness. It felt warm, a heartbeat of happiness.

“I love you Jessica.”

I love you too.